Monday, December 26, 2016

Being Anonymous

Sometimes it's easy to be anonymous and hide behind a computer screen terrorizing, bullying, and berating people you don't know. These days, it's too easy and I wish something would be done. I recently was bullied, harassed, and quite frankly, scared out of my gourd by some crazy lunatic. Guess what? He/She is anonymous. Of course. But this anonymous presence is all over the internet in many forms. Their sole purpose is to spread hate. And fear.

I am afraid when I write anything online for fear it will lead some lunatic to my real identity and I'll suffer consequences beyond my understanding. I'm afraid when I walk the streets, that someone will think it's fun to terrorize me. I feel broken and scared. I always considered myself strong, but now I wonder how many cracks are in that thick skin of mine. How many of these cracks are growing larger and weaker until I completely fall to pieces and crumble. 

The world is a scary place. Be care of what you put out there. The men in masks are coming to get you.
Don't worry, you'll know them when you see them. And when you do, RUN!

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Allowing ourselves to rest




The world seems so broken these days and my Type A personality tells me it's my duty, my responsibility, my obligation to be productive and to help others. I feel guilty when I stop and take time for myself. When I say "no" or when I decline an invitation because I just need a day off from the world.

I have to be reminded that it's ok and even NECESSARY to take time for myself. It's always a good thing when I do it, though. I feel so much better and interact with friends more easily and with more patience than if I do not give myself the time to replenish.

This picture also brings to mind the fact that we do not have to fix everything. Sometimes it's ok to walk away and let things be broken or let others try to manage them. In the end, we often find, that broken isn't really destroyed, just scattered or in lots of pieces that become their own whole.

Enjoy yourself this holiday season and find peace somewhere if only for a moment.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Bittersweetness

As always the month of December is crazy--filled with teaching, singing, obligations, and seemingly more than could possibly fit into every day. But as always, I got through it--or almost anyway. With just 10 days until the new year, I look back with a bittersweetness in my heart. Another year has flown by.  It is a year I'm happy to say farewell to--and yet I fear what's ahead. I look back and forth and I'm not sure where I want to be anymore. 

I fear we have a long road ahead and that my routines will be turned upside down and inside out no matter what I do. Do I flee the country and live out my dream of spending time in another country or if I stay here and endure the wrath that is sure to burn me? The answer isn't clear. I struggle.

Also on my mind are the things I've said and done. I have regrets and triumphs. I'm sorry to those whom I've wronged. I am proud of my successes and the successes of others.

It's always a funny time of year when it comes to a close. It needs a word more descriptive than bittersweet.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Ranting and frothing in my insane crisis

(Thank you, Walt Whitman, for that title!)

I feel like I've gone off the deep end. I started this blog with the intention of talking about my Type A life and my routines, cleaning, organization, and other things that make me feel a little more in control in this crazy world. In the last few months, I've lost my grip on whatever control I had. I seem to have hurled myself off into an abyss where chaos and cacophony abound. I find myself screaming at unknown people who've tweeted some political tidbit or getting riled up because things are not going the way I planned. I'm not a person I like anymore. But I cannot escape myself.
So I try to keep my eyes forward and my head down, but I keep looking to the side and getting distracted. 

Ironically, distraction is a tool that often helps me STAY in control when I feel like I'm falling. I've used it to keep myself from engaging in harmful behavior. But somehow, the distractions are the harmful behaviors. I'm so confused.

I just want a clean and organized life. I want to know when and where things are happening and what to expect when I get there. I want to be able to balance my work and play without feeling like I have no "me time" to recharge my batteries. 

I feel like this:

And I want to be like this: 


Saturday, December 3, 2016

When your careful plans blow up

I did my research and I gave it serious thought. I weighed pros and cons and talked to people when I could. I found 3 viable options. Then it all blew up in my face because all three options involve something I do not have--money. WTF? To achieve my dreams, I'd have to bankrupt myself. I don't think all is lost, but right now, that's what it seems like to me. BIG SIGH. How do people do this? How do they figure things out and not end up homeless? I know I don't have the best information on any of my options, but I thought I had enough to go on. Apparently not. I stopped the train, backed the truck up, and am sitting here where I started only a little more deflated than angry.

I'm trying to stick to my safe routines and tell myself it will all be ok in the end. Because after all, if it's not ok, then it's not the end. Or something.

Last night I saw one of the funniest comedians on the planet. If he'd marry me, I'd go anywhere for him. But he won't and I'm not. He uses the F word a lot and I like it. I like his rants and his unabashed anger towards the establishment. Whatever the fk that is. He's awesome. And sometimes he gets so angry, you can't understand him at all. That's when I laugh the hardest. I needed those laughs last night. I'm so lucky I got them.

So now I need to keep marching forward and try to think of how I can turn my plans into reality. It's not as easy and neat as I thought it would be, but I have to believe it's possible.
Everything's possible if you want it enough.


Saturday, November 26, 2016

An Early Holiday Letter

What a year it’s been! 2016 sure had some interesting twists and turns. I’ll just leave it at that.

As always, I look back on the year and wonder how it flew by so quickly and reflect on everything that happened—the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’ve learned more, sung more, and enjoyed more. In between the joy came sadness and the realization that life is short. Hold your loved ones tight, tell them you love them, and never ever take a day for granted. Learn from your mistakes and admit wrong doings. Don’t try to be perfect—trust me, it doesn’t work! J But do try your best. Always try. That’s what counts.

Besides reflecting, I’ve enjoyed my job as Program Director for Music in the Schools, Music teacher at a preschool, and of course, teaching my beloved Special People. When I’m not teaching, I’m singing with the Peninsula Women’s Chorus, taking voice lessons, and trying to spend time with friends. I even managed a short trip to Seattle, which was the first vacation I’ve taken in probably 20 years, that wasn’t to see family or sing with my chorus. It was refreshing and made me realize once more, that I need to do more of that. Tomorrow may not come, there’s never a guarantee, and soon, your life passes you by and you stand there wondering why you never checked off the things on your bucket list. Do it now. Don’t wait.

I still long to live outside the US for an extended period of time and am currently researching and weighing my options. I could further my education or further the education of others. Or both. It remains to be seen. There has to be more than what’s right here at home.

Being on Facebook gives me some weird sense of thinking I know what’s going on in everyone’s lives and that they know mine. It makes writing this letter difficult since I feel like I “see” you all every day. But I don’t and even though many of you are far away, please know you are always in my thoughts.


My wish for all of you is a healthy, happy holiday season with an even better 2017. Thank you all for being in my life and allowing me to be in yours.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Welcome to the New World

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
-Martin Niemöller

And my friends, they WILL come for all of us. If you don't believe me, just wait. You're not as safe as you think. Don't tell me to get over it, move on, accept it, stay and fight, and don't tell me how to feel. The world changed overnight and it will never be the same. Stand up to racism, sexism, bigotry, xenophobia, homophobia, and everything that's wrong. Don't stand idly by and waiting to see how it all plays out. We know how it plays out. And it's terrifying.

I am ashamed that I know people who voted for this monster who will soon take the position of President of the (un)United States. If they voted for him, they support his every action. And that's unacceptable to me. The fact that ANYONE supports this dictator and his cronies, is unfathomable to me. I hope to escape while I still can.

#NeverAgain #Butitishappeningagain

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Thoughts of Richard Cory

Lonely yet not alone I stand,
Watching rain fall on the parch-ed land.
My mind wanders far away
To a place I cannot stay.
I wonder how this came to be.
I wonder how I lost the core of me.
I wander and I roam,
Where is to be my next home?
I don’t know where to go
Where the sadness will not flow.
I have no more hope,

For I have reached the shreds of that tight rope.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

True Colors

It seems that the last year and especially the last few days have shown people's true colors--mine included. I am saddened, angered, and disappointed at how so many people think it's ok to hate now. It's ok to throw around racial slurs. It's ok to treat women like property. It's ok to harass people who are not white, christian, and straight. And it's ok to insult everyone who isn't like you. Well, in my book, it's NOT OK. I am ashamed and embarrassed for our country. We are divided like never before. The people who think like I do are mourning and terrified. The people who think otherwise, are throwing insults and telling me to "grow up", "get over it", "move on", "if you don't like it, get out" and a whole host of other things. People I thought were my friends are no longer. I don't think this can be repaired. 

I'm afraid on social media. I walk outside with my head down and eyes up. I'm acutely aware of my surroundings. I look over my shoulder more often than not. I'm frightened for my friends who have even more to lose than I do. I crumble into a puddle of terrified tears. And nobody seems to care.

I want to go home but I don't even know where home is anymore.

Monday, November 7, 2016

My world is rocked

And not in a good way. I'm completely turned upside down and inside out. Nothing is the way it "should" be and I'm feeling less control than ever. 

Random pieces of unsolicited advice and reflection:

1. Tell people you love them. Tell the now. Later might be too late.

2. Expect the unexpected and prepare for it so you aren't left in a puddle of anxiety when something happens.

3. Be honest. Communicate even if you know it isn't what the other person wants to hear.

4. Be kind to everyone.

5. Be on time.

6. Show up and be present.

7. Believe in yourself.

8. Dare to dream.

Dreams

Hold fast to dreams 
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Noise, chaos, Type A meltdown


I'm trying to be organized. I'm trying to stay on top of things so I don't get overwhelmed. Outside, there's a leaf blower and gardeners making enough noise to drive my already rattled brain crazy. (No, I'm not living in a mansion with hired help--it's the apartment complex) And for the record, I HATE leaf blowers. Disgusting, smelly, polluting mess of an invention.


So yeah, I'm trying to get my work done and it's not happening because there is chaos. And as a result, I feel there is chaos all around me--unfinished work, unfinished cleaning, disorganized piles of paper....and AAAAAHHHHHH!!! 

I made a checklist to see what I've already done that I may not have given myself credit for. There's one thing. Ok then. I am trying very hard not to melt down in my Type A way when things just aren't as I wish they were. It may or may not be working. Is it 5:00 yet?


That's all I can muster today. What are your tips and tricks for getting through these chaotic times?
Are you Type A too? 

Monday, October 31, 2016

I'm Nobody

Who are you? I feel like Nobody today. I feel like my efforts to reach out have been unnoticed, disregarded, and gone unanswered. I'm feeling rather invisible. Ironically, I am dressed for Halloween as a person in the witness protection program. Feels rather fitting for my mood. Sigh.



Saturday, October 29, 2016

It's Easier When it's Not Me

Why are things so much clearer when it's not MY situation? Why can I give someone advice that I should probably take myself except that I can't ever remember it when I'm whirling around in my tizzy? Helping others makes me feel so good and then when I share my struggles, people are often flabbergasted that I have them. "But you seem so together", they say. Well...I am. On the outside.
Inside, I'm a boiling mess of anxiety and OCD and other flip outs. Years of "research" and "practice" have helped me learn to cope and most of all to cover it up when necessary. I guess I do a better job than I thought. Go me.

I hope my life ends up meaning something to someone. I so often feel like I'm a blip on the radar of life and have no chance to make a real difference in the world. I do meaningful work and I am passionate about what I do. I yearn to expand upon my work and bring it out further into the world, but I find myself waiting for permission. Why do I need permission? 


In the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:


To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

These words always make me think of someone who's crossed over the rainbow bridge, shall we say.  She will always be with me as I go through this adventure I call life. She taught me more than she could ever know. More than I probably know. The yellow background on those words is for her. And these sunflowers are for both of us. Yellow and hopeful looking toward the sun. 



Friday, October 28, 2016

Back to Cleaning

What's your favorite cleaner for the bathroom? I always like bleach because it smells and feels like the definition of disinfected and CLEAN. The bathroom is foul and not my favorite place to clean but I have a serious aversion to a bathroom that isn't sparkling and bleachy smelling.

I did discover that Dawn Dishwashing liquid is the BEST for cleaning the bathtub. OMG it dissolves the gross scum and leaves no residue. Soak your tub with dawn and hot water for about 30 minutes and use a scrub brush (or mop!!) to clean it. It rinses clean and voila!

I love cleaning. My bathroom is clean today.


Monday, October 24, 2016

Rant

 Ok, so I stole this from my facebook status but it's still my writing so whatever. Sue me. 
============================
I'm offended because a composer wrote a song with nonsense words with NO pattern and it goes 100mph. And I'm offended because the publisher printed it in tiny letters (like 8 font or something) and left half a page blank "intentionally" as it says in the score....so why the FK couldn't they publish it in READABLE FORM so I could FKING SEE what I can't remember? As for other illegible scores, I will leave that alone for now. But fking ay, give a half blind soprano a break and make the score readable. WTF. And no, I don't care if you think handwritten scores are more "organic" or more " personal" or whatever the fk it was. I can't fking read it so it's useless. And....yes, there's more. I'm offended by this whole election and the way it has made Americans (probably myself included) belligerent, defensive, and divided. I'm offended that the moderators in all debates didn't have enough ahem equipment to turn off the mic when someone was being rude or talking over the other person. And then...(yes, there's even more) I'm offended because when someone asks me for a meeting and I respond with dates & times, they fail to respond. Ever. Really? I'm also offended because I would not like to "use my tools and coping skills". I would like an increase in medication. Thank you. I think that was all but if I remember anything else (fking old ass brain can't remember anything anymore) I'll add it in.
And if anyone is offended by this rant, then please just unfollow me. Seriously. I have no time to defend myself and I will not entertain people's patronizing comments about how it could be hurtful to express yourself in this way. 

The last disclaimer is there because I have, in the past been admonished and handed my ass for putting my own opinion on facebook (or anywhere else). Apparently, some people think the world is all about them. Or someone they know. And they don't stop to consider that I have a life outside of them and some small circle of people. I did them a favor (after telling them off, of course!) and put them in a list where they hardly see any of my postings. And guess what? No more calling me out. Interesting how that works. And bite me.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

This

Need I say more about the past few weeks? I thought not. And actually, I'll just take the vodka and the valium. And I'll make my own damn coffee because I like it black and strong. The kind of coffee where the spoon stands up by itself and it kind of resembles motor oil. The kind of coffee that scares people. That's what I drink. And fill the cup to the top. 

So yeah, I've had a roller coaster of a time here. Anxiety and craziness all globbed up (yeah, I know that's not a word, so sue me) together has rattled even my safest corner in my routines. I need to get it together here. GYST I tell myself. (Get your Sh*t Together) I wrote it in my music recently. How can a person screw up the same thing over and over? REALLY? I have a fking degree in music and I can't sing a 3/8 measure properly. Ok, so it has a tie from the previous measure and the syllabification sucks, but still. So now you know why I included the lovely quote above. 

Have a very purple day. Dammit.

Friday, October 21, 2016

impossible dreams, meltdowns, and trying to be perfect

It's a tough life when you're type A, perfectionist, trying to be perfect while all the time knowing it's impossible, but dammit, you're gonna try if it kills you. I'm having a rough week and very thankful for gin. I love my big blue bottle of Bombay Sapphire. I may or may not be under its influence right now. Ahem. 

Anyway, it's hard when you try to stick to routines, feel guilty because your routines are more important than the things you should have actually done that day but you told yourself they can wait until next week because keeping up with the routines is always more important. What? I don't even understand that. But be that as it may, it's how I've lived over the last 2 weeks. My priorities are fked up. I'm convinced that staying on top of my cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, bill paying, is more important than say....work.  That's an issue. I need to resolve it next week. I have no choice and I know that. And I'm panicking. Of course. 

Major meltdown ensued a few days ago to the point where I was paralyzed in my car sobbing uncontrollably. I can't tell you why. It took me about 4 days to get over it and I'm now trying to dust myself off and not feel like I've accomplished nothing in the last few days. Some surprises happened (good ones!) so there's that. I don't suck at singing after all. Or at least for now.


This ^^



Here's to trying to do better next week. Happy Friday, y'all. Yes, I just said "ya'll". Fun fact: I lived in North Carolina for 4 years.





Monday, October 17, 2016

Forgiving and forgetting

Forgiving and forgetting are very different things. Yes, I can forgive someone but I may not ever forget what they did or said. I am at a point where I see no end to the phony, fake, pasted on smiles that surround me. Maybe they've forgiven me but they can't forget either. People I thought I trusted are no longer real friends. Apologies have not been accepted and I don't know why. I need to move on and find new friends. It's strange to be lonely yet not alone.

I started this blog as a way of sharing ideas about my type A journey through life and my routines that always keep me safe. Now I feel like I've veered from the path, which makes me insane because I feel like a failure. I need to stop this entry. And if anyone has a new (preferably positive) attitude to lend me, please let me know. I need size huge.

Have a great day. If possible.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Something Different

I am so angry, I could scream. How could someone be so callous and unkind? I have been nothing but supportive and hard working for almost 20 years and this is the thanks I get. I can't stand it when someone says "I didn't know". That's just evidence that you weren't paying attention. You DID know and you didn't care. 

Monday, October 10, 2016

Back to Reality and Routines

It's over--the fun is over and here I am back to reality (work) and routines. I was somewhat on edge while trying to have fun (welcome to the world of a type A slightly OCD person) but I did have a great time away from my everyday life. I am, however, trying to slip back into my regular routine with some difficulty. Ironic, since I thrive on routines, plans, and knowing what comes next. Yet, I do confess even though I arrived home at midnight, all of the bags were unpacked and everything was put away. Had I had quarters (or my personal laundry machines) the laundry would have been done before bed. Yes, I'm that person. I had to settle for all of it being put into the laundry basket for another day. At least I went to sleep with everything in place. And laundry day is Thursday anyway. :)

I think I have extra anxiety due to external factors but I keep telling myself that sticking to routines day in and day out will always help me. Even when I want to crawl under the covers.

What do you do when you don't want to do anything? DO IT ANYWAY.

So I'm going to jump in feet first and go for it. It will all be good in the end.


Friday, September 30, 2016

Getting organized and getting ahead

It's one of those weeks where I don't have the entire week to do my daily tasks. So what do I do? Well, first I freak out because that means an interruption in my routine. Then, I calm down (sort of), climb down from the chandelier and realize I can do this. I can plan ahead and leave a clean, organized house and come back to things planned for after I return. 
Instead of taking the weekend off, I will count it as part of the week. Please note that while in theory, this is calming, it's also anxiety producing because it's not my routine. And I don't like that. But I shall soldier on. 
Saturday: Kitchen
Sunday: diningroom/desk
Monday: livingroom
Tuesday: Bedroom
Wednesday: bathroom/back hall
DONE!

Plan two weeks of life, work, and whatever else and take those "extra" days away and have fun!

Hopefully, this works. I need it to work. I'm worried and anxious and crazy over it. I am looking forward to going away and having fun, but I need everything in its place before I can breathe again.


I have no idea what this even means, but it has the word "song" and it's purple. So it's perfect! :)

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Dusting myself off

I'm dusting myself off, digging deep to find that confidence I once had, and going for it. I have decided to kick down the wall I built around myself and put myself out there. I may get rejected but I can't say I didn't try. 

And no, I'm not talking about dating. Because that's not happening. I've sworn off dating. People are strange and never who they say they are on those online dating sites (yes, I've tried them all) and besides that, I attract people who can't commit. Except after I break up with them and they marry someone else. So yeah...whatever. But that's not what I'm talking about here.

I'm talking about singing. Yes, singing. I'm dusting off the old confidence and singing like I used to do when I felt every emotion as I sang through the phrases--even those I never believed. I found something in the music or the text to hang my emotions on. And I sang like I never sang before. Where did that confidence go? I let something crush me and I should not have allowed it. So, I'm getting up, and I'm going to go out there and SING. I'm going to sing like I mean it and if it's not appreciated, then fk 'em.


Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Keeping routines from being mundane

As I have said a million jillion times, I like routines. I like predictability. I like planning. But....I don't like boring. So how do you reconcile the two? I mean, if day after day, you have routines that are planned and predictable, don't you get bored? And doesn't life become mundane? I don't know the answer to that question. Sometimes I want to go out and do something different--change it up a bit--but then I come back to my "safety net". My routines.

I think today I will declutter my mind and my apartment. It's a routine and it will change things up as I will get rid of things that no longer need to be taking up space. But first, I must do my real work. 

I want to be in this picture with all of the purple.

Friday, September 23, 2016

In celebration of, not in spite of

I got a great piece of advice today. I was bemoaning the fact that being on a committee with people who are (surprise!) not type A and don't plan and can't make decisions, was at best, troubling and at worst infuriating. I was about to explode. I had been trying to find that middle ground where everyone would feel warm and fuzzy but things would be efficient. I never got there. And it bothered me. I found myself in the place between "F*ck you, I'll just do it my damn self because it's easier" and "F*ck you, I QUIT!". After talking for a while, my friend suggested I look at this another way. Without belittling or invalidating my feelings, she reminded me of someone who would be so proud of where this group is now and of all the things that happened since she died. She wanted nothing more than for this group to thrive, grow, flourish, and keep excelling even after her death. And we have done just that! So this year's celebration is in her honor. I will honor her spirit as I know she would have loved to celebrate with us, this one-in-a-lifetime milestone for a group such as ours. Even if I have to "do it my damn self" I'm still honoring her and remembering that she shaped this group into the community we are and gave us the tenacious spirit to move forward. We haven't lost that--it may be hidden beneath the drama and other things, but it's there. I'm dusting off my tenacity and my love for what this group is at its core. And I'm doing this for her.
xoxox, my friend. I miss you every day.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Learning from Routines

I've learned a great deal about myself and also about what happens when we establish routines in our lives. Even if yours aren't as (ahem) rigid as mine, you can still have routines or plan your day/week in some fashion. Anyway, I have learned a few things along the way in my "getting organized" journey. 

1. It IS possible to get everything done in a week if you plan it out. For instance, designating each day to cleaning a specific part of my apartment has ensured that by the end of the week, it's all clean. And it also means that there is no single day when I face hours and hours of cleaning in addition to the rest of my daily tasks.

2. Planning when to do certain tasks like laundry, grocery shopping, bill paying always means that you, again, don't have a day when you stare down a mountain of tasks all at once. They get done on their designated day and you move on. And quite frankly, it's a lot less intimidating when I know I only have ONE task to complete rather than 4 or 5. I'm less likely to put it off or decide to move it to the next day when I know it will only take me less than an hour at most.

3. Careful planning and staying organized means more free time! Who doesn't want more free time? Time to do what you love whether it be watch your favorite TV show, read a book, play games on facebook, watch YouTube videos, or go do things with friends. 

4. Everything doesn't have to take hours and hours. I used to think cleaning my apartment and getting rid of things, decluttering, and donating/tossing/giving away meant an entire day's worth of exhausting arduous work. Not so. With a plan in place, doing a little at a time means no exhausting arduous days. Yes, it takes discipline to stick to the plan, but once you get going and becomes habit, it seems rather mundane and you "expect" it. It's not a surprise or something you put off until it absolutely MUST be done or you'll have no clothes to wear. (laundry).

5. I've discovered the art of multi-tasking. One chore and one fun thing. I can listen to a podcast while I fold my laundry. I can watch my favorite TV show while I wait for the kitchen floor to dry.
There's, of course multi-tasking with two chores--while waiting for the laundry, vacuum the carpet. While waiting for the floor to dry in the kitchen, clean out the closet or take donations to Goodwill or wherever you donate them.

All of this not only saves me time and anxiety, but it keeps me feeling safer somehow. Safer as I fly through this chaotic world in my Type A way. I'm still working on things both Type A and not, but it's a journey and it's worth taking.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Late Night Musings of a Type A Person Trying to Make it in this World

Seriously, I'm struggling. This world is not a place where I fit in. I'm not talking about clothes, and keeping up with Joneses or whatever--I'm talking about being a person who wants everything in its place, neat and tidy, and clean. A person who wants --no NEEDS--for people to answer their email/phone call/text in a timely fashion when it pertains to work or something for which I am responsible. Nothing irks me more than being held up on doing my job because I don't have an answer from someone. And then I wrestle with how much follow up is too much? Is 2 days too soon to send a "gentle reminder"? Is a week long enough? That "gentle reminder" is really more like ANSWER ME NOW OR I AM GOING to EXPLODE AND FURTHERMORE IF I DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU I WILL ARRANGE THINGS MYSELF AND ASSUME YOUR OPINION IS NOT NEEDED. But that's not how the world is and as soon as I were to do that, I would certainly get an answer back. I just don't know how some people get out of bed in the morning and go to work. I don't even know how they keep their jobs! UGH.
So if you don't mind, could you get it done by yesterday? Thanks. I'm now going to lose sleep over everything that is out of my control. #TypeA #OCD #Perfectionist #worryisme