Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Tears of Joy and Sorrow, Love and Pain

Last night was an historic night. In a deep red state, a democrat took the senate election. It was unbelievable, incredible, and an important reminder that there is good in the world--that people really do care about one another. The outrage has turned to action. People are telling the government they are not happy with how it's going now and their voices are heard in their votes.

I cried tears of joy for the optimism this brings. I wept for the sorrow that has been living inside me for so long and finally rushed out in a moment of happiness. I cried because of love and pain and how closely they sit together. 

This world will come together again. The cracks will seal, the deep divides will join together again, and we will be one again. Not us and them. Just us. That day isn't far away. Last night gave me a glimpse of hope that our future has some light in it.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

When your life changes

It's been a while since I've written. My life has changed in an immense way. I have accepted the rewarding and challenging task of teaching 21 classes a week in addition to the 6 I already teach and the 20+ hours a week I work in a different capacity. Suddenly, the hours aren't mine anymore. I have a more rigid schedule to which I must adhere and I have had to turn my routines upside down and inside out in order to feel safe and organized. Needless to say, I went into this with great trepidation and some anxiety about how to make all of the puzzle pieces fit. After several weeks, I think I finally found a way to make it all happen. I'm not sure I like it, but it works and allows me to get everything done and keep some order in my life. 

I won't say the whole thing hasn't been frustrating and even terrifying at times. At the same time, whatever job I'm doing, I'm immersed in it and the whole world goes away for the time I'm there. It's only when I return home or have the rare moment to myself, do I realize how much I have crammed into my life. So much to fit in such a small amount of time. As I said, I'm still not sure I like it, but I have accepted it. Mostly.

I know I can't go on like this for ever and I know there is an end to all of this craziness. The additional classes will end in the beginning of May and then I'll have my life back. Although things are crazy and busy, I do notice that I'm not flipping out like I used to. I manage my life and all that comes along, much more easily now. #Betterlivingthroughchemistry

I'm grateful to have a plethora of jobs that I love and where I feel as though I'm making a difference.
In this world, it's not a small thing to feel you're making a difference of some sort. The world feels bigger than it ever has and more daunting than before. We all want to make our mark and be remembered for something good. I'm hoping that I'm doing that even in the smallest way.