Not an original title, but also not an original feeling. So sue me. If you're not turned off by the subject matter or you haven't already thought to yourself "get some therapy", then please keep reading. And as for therapy, I've gotten it. Plenty of it. So thanks for the thought.
Lately, I find myself wondering if I'm swimming in a sea of self doubt, if I'm indeed the fraud I feared I was, or if I'm just human and having a bad hair day. Maybe it's some of the above or all of the above or none of the above. I don't really care, but I hope the feeling goes away. Well, I'd like to remain human, but that's beside the point. Ahem.
Things that were once easy are now a struggle. Holding a grudge has become a career for me. I know it's stupid, but I keep holding on tightly as though it would destroy me to let go. As if I'd be somehow less if I let go. My rational mind, however small and dark a corner it is, tells me I'd be MORE if I let things go. I'd have room for more of who I want to be and less crowding in my head of thoughts of injustices and unfairness. The plight of a constant worrier. Or warrior. Or something.
For a first entry, this is quite long enough. If you're still reading, bravo and congratulations.
I'm going to seek out some purple now.