Saturday, March 19, 2016

You're So Vain... (borrowed from Carole King)

For all of you people who think my life revolves around you and that ALL of my facebook posts are indeed about YOU, the people YOU know, YOUR associations, families, groups, etc, GET A LIFE. I have a life that is very large and it involves many aspects outside of from where you may know me. So, please, for the love of everything purple, do not assume that what I'm writing in a simple FB status has ANYTHING to do with you. It doesn't. In fact, 99% of the time it doesn't and the 1% of the time it does, I SAY IT. I am sick and tired of defending, disclaiming, excusing, and apologizing for what I say on MY FB page. If you don't like it, can't understand it, can't bring yourself to believe it's not about YOU, then unfollow, unfriend, and DISENTANGLE yourself from my life. GET THE EFF OUT. I did the very same thing and most of you never noticed. I don't read your posts, I don't comment, and I don't follow. I don't have time or energy to devote to that. I have 3 jobs, a lot of friends, and a million and one things to do. So, no, I don't care that you think my post *could* be interpreted this way or that. I don't care and you shouldn't either. If I stopped to think about how everyone's posts *could* apply to ME, I'd go crazy. I guess you've all done that already. Be my guest because I'm no stranger to crazy. I take meds for it. Yes, you read correctly. Now move on with the shattered pieces of your broken lives and go read someone else's FB page. Mine's closed.

Monday, March 14, 2016

Inspired by Sarah Rush--things I've learned in my thirty-sixteen years

Thirty-sixteen years on this planet and I've learned a lot... I will try to come up with thirty-sixteen of them (that's 46 if you don't know me and the fact that I still wish and refuse to believe I'm not still in my 30's)

1. You can't please everyone.
2. Be yourself no matter what.
3. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
4. Trust is hard to earn and even harder to earn back.
5. The truth sometimes hurts but it's always the best policy.
6. People are not always who they seem to be.
7. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.
8. NOBODY is perfect no matter what you think.
9. The grass is often greener on the other side.
10. Do what you love and love what you do.
11. No job (relationship, friendship) is worth sacrificing your sanity.
12. Never ever stay in an abusive relationship.
13. Don't stay together "for the kids". Get divorced.
14. Manners matter
15. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
16. You do not owe anyone an explanation for the way you feel.
17. No means no.
18. You don't have to explain why your answer is no.
19. Try not to go to sleep angry.
20. Agree to disagree.
21. Fight fair.
22. You can be happy or you can be right.
23. Sometimes it IS your fault.
24. Always being the victim is unattractive.
25. Smiles are contagious.
26. If you're a teacher, your students will teach you more than you can ever teach them. Pay attention.
27. I've learned that forgiving doesn't always mean forgetting.
28. The small things don't matter in the end.
29. Cancer sucks.
30. Hold your loved ones tight because you never know when they'll be gone.
31. Music heals.
32. Singing in a choir means being part of something bigger than yourself and having the ability to create something you could never create alone.
33. Be able to say you're sorry.
34. Crying doesn't mean you're weak.
35. Therapy can help but sometimes it hurts. Knowing the difference can save your life.
36. Building each other up is always better than tearing someone down.
37. Secrets are poison.
38. Sometimes it's ok to put yourself first.
39. It's not about being the best, it's about doing your best.
40. If you have a roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and money in your pocket, you are doing better than most of the world.
41. Be grateful.
42. Respect is earned not just given.
43. Being grateful is difficult sometimes.
44. We're all human.
45. Donald Trump is dangerous and scary.
46. This list was difficult to make!

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Secrets and lies of omission

Secrets are poison. Lies whether of omission or blatant and baldfaced, create disharmony. They're bound to come out one way or another. Someone will mistakenly give the secret information out or it will just find its way through the tangled web until its ugly head is reared. Either way, secrets and lies are toxic to a relationship, a workplace, or even between two people.

I recently became aware of some information quite by accident. An innocent person asked me a question about something and after realizing I had no idea what he was talking about, I found something I was obviously not supposed to know. I wrote it off and as I did not want to "out" this person for mentioning something he did not know was taboo, I figured it would blow over and I'd forget. It wasn't real because I didn't know when it was going to happen.

Fast forward a week or two and I'm unwittingly cc'd on an email regarding this same piece of information and now it's real. Reading down the thread, I see what's happening and I'm SURE I was never supposed to know. It was a lie of omission. Something that was never supposed to be said and never supposed to be found out. Well, now I know and now it has been said. What to do?

I go through the cycle of anger, fury, depression, sadness, and get "stuck" wondering if I should simply call it out and clear the air. No, I don't want to make matters worse than they are. But... it WILL come out and it WILL be evident that I know, by no fault of my own. Will I get an explanation? An apology? Do I care? Probably not and I don't know.

Moral of this crazy story: don't lie on purpose or by omission. It's poisonous and will forever change someone's perception of you.