impossible dreams, meltdowns, and trying to be perfect

It's a tough life when you're type A, perfectionist, trying to be perfect while all the time knowing it's impossible, but dammit, you're gonna try if it kills you. I'm having a rough week and very thankful for gin. I love my big blue bottle of Bombay Sapphire. I may or may not be under its influence right now. Ahem. 

Anyway, it's hard when you try to stick to routines, feel guilty because your routines are more important than the things you should have actually done that day but you told yourself they can wait until next week because keeping up with the routines is always more important. What? I don't even understand that. But be that as it may, it's how I've lived over the last 2 weeks. My priorities are fked up. I'm convinced that staying on top of my cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, bill paying, is more important than say....work.  That's an issue. I need to resolve it next week. I have no choice and I know that. And I'm panicking. Of course. 

Major meltdown ensued a few days ago to the point where I was paralyzed in my car sobbing uncontrollably. I can't tell you why. It took me about 4 days to get over it and I'm now trying to dust myself off and not feel like I've accomplished nothing in the last few days. Some surprises happened (good ones!) so there's that. I don't suck at singing after all. Or at least for now.

This ^^

Here's to trying to do better next week. Happy Friday, y'all. Yes, I just said "ya'll". Fun fact: I lived in North Carolina for 4 years.