Bittersweetness

As always the month of December is crazy--filled with teaching, singing, obligations, and seemingly more than could possibly fit into every day. But as always, I got through it--or almost anyway. With just 10 days until the new year, I look back with a bittersweetness in my heart. Another year has flown by.  It is a year I'm happy to say farewell to--and yet I fear what's ahead. I look back and forth and I'm not sure where I want to be anymore. 

I fear we have a long road ahead and that my routines will be turned upside down and inside out no matter what I do. Do I flee the country and live out my dream of spending time in another country or if I stay here and endure the wrath that is sure to burn me? The answer isn't clear. I struggle.

Also on my mind are the things I've said and done. I have regrets and triumphs. I'm sorry to those whom I've wronged. I am proud of my successes and the successes of others.

It's always a funny time of year when it comes to a close. It needs a word more descriptive than bittersweet.