Thursday, July 3, 2014
Envious and so not proud
Sometimes I am green envy when I hear about other people going on vacations, or attending conferences I wish I could attend, or when it seems as though other people are having more fun than I am. The monster depression gets me down. It's so unattractive when I get that way, but I cannot seem to shake it. Today I finally shook it with a strong drink. I know that's not a healthy coping mechanism, but damn, it made me feel better. Sometimes gin IS the best cure for what ails you.
I have big dreams and I wish I could cut through the crap and get to them. Everything costs money. So much money. I want to take classes. I want to sing in chorus. I want to go on tour. ACK. When I add up the numbers, it's much more than I have. I am sad. I don't want more than my share, I just want a chance to succeed at life.
Time for sleep. Please no weird dreams this time.
I have big dreams and I wish I could cut through the crap and get to them. Everything costs money. So much money. I want to take classes. I want to sing in chorus. I want to go on tour. ACK. When I add up the numbers, it's much more than I have. I am sad. I don't want more than my share, I just want a chance to succeed at life.
Time for sleep. Please no weird dreams this time.
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