Saturday, March 29, 2014
Sometimes I wonder...
Where I've been...who I am...do I fit in? Ok, it's a cheesy line from an 80's song I loved to belt out with my hairbrush microphone and tape recorder...yes tape recorder. OUT HERE....ON MY OWN!!!
But seriously, I do wonder about things. I think of myself as purple, creative, organized, and just enough out there to be "interesting", but not totally nuts. At least I hope so.
Today was a day I went into with great trepidation. I attended a workshop where I had to reach deep inside and lose my self for a while. I had to pretend I wasn't self-conscious, I didn't feel ungraceful, and I was willing to pour my soul out to a virtual stranger. Of course, I was not alone in this endeavor, but something like this can easily make me feel like I am larger than life (in more ways than one...and that's for another blog entry). I felt conspicuous and weird. I felt uncomfortable in my skin. I felt everything the leader was telling us NOT to feel. Ugh... But I fought it and finally threw myself into the experience. To my surprise, there were moments of clarity and moments of really believing in what I was expressing. It was scary and beautiful all at the same time.
In the space of 3 hours, I was transformed into a real believer. I CAN make something tangible out of what I thought was only something deep inside me.
With that, I leave you to ponder your own potential.
But seriously, I do wonder about things. I think of myself as purple, creative, organized, and just enough out there to be "interesting", but not totally nuts. At least I hope so.
Today was a day I went into with great trepidation. I attended a workshop where I had to reach deep inside and lose my self for a while. I had to pretend I wasn't self-conscious, I didn't feel ungraceful, and I was willing to pour my soul out to a virtual stranger. Of course, I was not alone in this endeavor, but something like this can easily make me feel like I am larger than life (in more ways than one...and that's for another blog entry). I felt conspicuous and weird. I felt uncomfortable in my skin. I felt everything the leader was telling us NOT to feel. Ugh... But I fought it and finally threw myself into the experience. To my surprise, there were moments of clarity and moments of really believing in what I was expressing. It was scary and beautiful all at the same time.
In the space of 3 hours, I was transformed into a real believer. I CAN make something tangible out of what I thought was only something deep inside me.
With that, I leave you to ponder your own potential.
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