Monday, September 12, 2016

When something you love becomes a source of stress

I love to sing.  Singing always gives me life and energy and it allows me to express myself in a way that's seemingly impossible through any other medium. I'm able to access emotions I never knew I had. I'm able to be someone I didn't know I was or never knew I could be. It's always been my escape from myself so to speak.

Lately, I've not found joy in singing. I shun it--I find other things to do. When I do sing, my inner critic immediately starts telling me I'm no good, why even bother, everyone else is better, so stop trying. Get another hobby. My inner critic says that about a lot of things. I suppose if I listened to everything my critic tells me, I'd basically be under my covers for the rest of my life. Or worse.

What happens when we burn on out something? Is it too much of a good thing? Is it time to figure out how to do that very same thing in a different way? In my case, that would mean where else can I sing that is different from where I am now? What other avenues are there? Are there untapped places where my talents might be appreciated and loved? Should I do some research? Or should I deal with the root of the problem which may not be singing at all--but something inside me that feels unworthy or anything?

I wish I had more answers than questions. I wish a lot of things.

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