Feeling less than purple

I usually have a thick skin but lately I've felt left out. I'm finding out about things happening in which I was not included. I know people have many groups of friends and that's ok. What is unsettling is that many people post things on social media that make other people wonder "why was I not invited?" There are many answers to that question ranging from "it was a spontaneous meet up" to "we planned this months ago and decided it would just be us" to "you are just not someone we wanted to include". Either way, it hurts and left to my own devices, I will OF COURSE, take it personally. Because when in doubt take it personally. Wish I could say I thought of that phrase, but I didn't. 

So a few things have happened recently. A friend was in town and let me know suggesting we meet up for drinks, etc. I suggested some dates and the person quickly responded with what I call backpedaling--well, I'm not sure what's going to work, I don't have a car, I'm not as close as usual, blah blah blah... so I said, well let me know when you're free. Fast forward 2 weeks and I see facebook postings of another happy hour this person had with people I know. Ok then. Clearly, I am the "back up plan" in case another better offer doesn't come through.

The next thing that happened was I was asked to lend something for an event. I agreed to do so and went out of my way to make sure it was the proper item with all the things they needed. (keeping this vague on purpose so as to protect the innocent and not so innocent and my ass). Fast forward 2 days and I hear nothing. Get random vague text indicating item might not be needed but will be contacted if it is. Umm...ok, but I have my life to live and I'm not waiting around at home "just in case you decide you need this item". Never heard another word. WTF.

Additional and probably petty and small are finding out I was not asked to do something special, not invited to a significant event, and that I was pretty much the ONLY person not included. Again, found out on FB where people thoughtlessly posted pictures. Really? Also a childhood friend was in town and less than 1 hour from me. Did she call? No. Did she even say hey, I won't be able to see you, but I'm very close and hopefully next time? NO. Sigh. Granted I haven't seen her in over 30 years, but damn. 

Ok, my petty and small and somewhat shameful entry is over. Carry on. Back to organizing. Clutter sucks as much as this blog.

Sad and embarrassed.