Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Facing fears

I am torn between the idea of facing our fears to get through them and avoiding them so we don't get hurt. I don't know which one makes us stronger. I am grappling with a question as to whether I dive into what could be shark infested waters and hope for the best, or whether I stay safely on shore where I know I don't have to worry. But there's that pesky little thing called regret--the "what ifs" the "coulda, shoulda, woulda" thoughts. Long ago someone told me don't be a "coulda woulda shoulda" person, DO IT. I think he was right.

But here I am afraid. At the core, I'm afraid of rejection. The last time I dove into these waters, I never expected there to be sharks. I thought I was taking a dip in a beautiful clear blue sea. I soon discovered that wasn't the case. It stung, it hurt me way down deep, and it took a long time to heal. I'm not quite sure it did heal all the way. I thought it had, but when I think about getting into these potentially dangerous waters again, I feel the same pain but mixed with fear. 

I'm hoping the universe will let me know what to do. I'm throwing it out there in hopes that I find an answer.

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