Friday, February 19, 2016

Another trip around the sun

As a facebook friend so eloquently put it, I've completed another trip around the sun. It was a crazy, exciting, awesome year to be sure, but the marking of the event this year was lackluster. I was half happy about that since I'm not a fan of getting older, but I was a bit sad that I had no specific plans except to add wine to a meeting I was running that evening. Ah well. No need for fanfare, I suppose.
I'm just astonished that I'm thirty-sixteen...ahem, 46. Creeping closer to the big FIVE-OH scares the hell out of me. It's quite paradoxical because I always thought I'd be dead by 30 (that's a whole other blog that I will refrain from getting into now). and so I never feared getting old because I didn't think I would. To me "old" meant 35. Now I face my mortality and that of my parents as well. Oy. Thinking about it and how I have absolutely no control over it whatsoever, gives me anxiety beyond belief. And I already have enough of that.
I'm still torn between, how do I get out of the rest of my life and please don't let me or anyone else die.

On another note, yet another person in my life confided in me that she has what she believes is anxiety. It's always strange to me to find more and more people I know suffer with this ailment. It's so common and yet so secretive much of the time. I'm grateful for medication and how it has saved me from myself. I'm sad for everyone who has to face this demon because it sucks the life out of you.

Well, that was uplifting. I wonder if anyone reads this?

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