Saturday, April 9, 2016

The Silent treatment

Lately, I've been receiving the silent treatment from some people in my life. I've done some research about it and was surprised to find that it qualifies as emotional abuse! When I thought more deeply about it, I realized, indeed it does! I refuse to tolerate such abuse and I'm walking away from those who feel the need to give it to me. I'm worth more than this and I thought our friendships were too. If you care about someone, you talk things through and if in the end, things don't work out, you can at least part ways amicably. The Silent Treatment is, in my opinion, a cowardly way out. It's avoiding someone so you don't have to face the fact that perhaps there is a problem or you've hit a rough patch. Why not just say "we can't be friends anymore"?

I'm not a stranger to holding grudges. For years, I've held grudges and the only person it ever hurt was me. I was the one feeling bad, angry, resentful, upset. I was the one with rising anxiety and indigestion that wouldn't dissolve with the many TUMS I threw at it. I finally (after more years than I will admit), realized that only I can control how I react to people. While I cannot control what other people say, do, feel, I CAN control those things for myself. And I do NOT have to tolerate abuse.
On top of that, life is short. Years of grudges and not speaking because of some misunderstanding or fall-out, pales in comparison to when you find out the person has a fatal disease. Life is short. Be kind. Don't hold grudges. Nobody's perfect and yes, we all make mistakes. Sometimes friendships die but grudges are never helpful.

That is all I have to say on the subject for now. And no, I'm not perfect nor do I profess to be able to practice all the things I've preached here. Ahem.

No comments:

Post a Comment