Wednesday, May 16, 2018

So close yet so far away

Why is it that when we get so close to the end of something, whether it be a work year, a class, paying off debt, loans, whatever, it's the hardest part of the journey? I can see the end but I can't quite reach it yet. Impatience sets in--along with some other things, but we won't go there.

Two things come to mind right now--paying off the last of my debt and finishing a work contract. My debt is just short of 3 payments until finished, and my work contract is just a few days until completed. It's been a long haul for both and I never thought I would see even a glimpse of the end.

I can't breathe in anticipation of being able to breathe when this heavy weight is lifted off my shoulders. I guess that makes no sense, but that's how I feel at the moment.

Then the saying "don't wish your life away" comes to mind. Am I wishing my life away by hoping these final days go quickly? While I do believe in cherishing every day, I kind of want these days to fly by so I can enjoy the ones that follow. Patience has never been one of my strong suits. Ugh.


I have already promised myself I will never get into these situations again. I will learn how to say no and not feel guilty. I will learn to take care of my sanity without feeling like I'm letting others down. I will remember what it feels like to be in the thick of these situations and how good it feels when I'm not. I can do this. I have come this far and I will get to the end.



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