Passions for Purple

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Incompetence abounds

Why is it that the most incompetent people rise to the top so quickly? And how is it that so many people refuse to believe that despite OBVIOUS signs of stupidity, incompetence, and plain inability, that a person might not be worthy of being fired? I work with someone who claims to have had years of experience doing a job. Yet, I find that with my few yeas of volunteering and a few hours of classes in each area, that somehow, I can manage this job better than this person. How is that?

I am SO angry. The person in question cannot follow simple instructions, cannot remember anything, does not write anything down, always says she "didn't know" and gets defensive when called out on her shortcomings. And yet...people LOVE this person. WHAT!? Am I living in an alternate universe? I don't get it. To me, it's clear that this person cannot, for whatever reason, do this job and should be fired immediately.

#stupidpeoplesuck

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Breaking the Silence

If I have not heard from you, nor spoken to you in YEARS, please do not suddenly text me asking if you can stay in my 1BR/1BA tiny apt with your TWO KIDS...oh, and it's next week. On a work night. WHAT!? No. Bite my ass. How effing rude. I am blocking and deleting you from my life like I did after you never bothered to answer my email or phone calls years ago. Dumb b*tch. WTH. I hate people.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

I Hate People

Well, most people anyway. WTH is wrong with everyone these days? I am ready to blow my top at just about everyone in my path. Maybe it's me. Maybe I need to spend some time in a mental hospital getting my sh*t together. I don't know, but something's gotta give. I can't live like this. It's too exhausting. And the next person who tells me to "let it go" will be sorry. I'd love to let it ALL GO!! Everything--my job, my responsibilities, my life, everything. It's hard. It's cruel. Life is a bitch and so am I.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

If You Really Knew Me

Yes, I know it's a cheesy, overused, trite title. I don't care.
If you really you knew me:

You'd know my favorite color isn't blue.
You'd know I am afraid of getting old.
You'd know I'm not afraid of dying.
You'd know that I am sensitive and take lots of things personally.
You'd know I really care about people and want to do right by them.
You'd know I love animals more than I love most people.
You'd know that I am still angry (not at them) that people in my life have died.
You'd know that I can't help being type A and wanting things done "right".
You'd know I can't stand to see injustice.
You'd know I cry when I am alone.
You'd know I am scared of many things including myself.
You'd know that I am afraid of what other people think even though I say I'm not.
You'd know that I sometimes get jealous.
You'd know that I have regrets I wish I could fix.
You'd know that I love gin.
You'd know I want to live in Italy.
You'd know I long to visit Poland and see Auschwitz but I know I would fall into a puddle of tears upon arrival. (just seeing pictures makes me tear up).
You'd know that I hold a grudge.
You'd know that my anxiety is constantly boiling inside me.
You'd know that if I didn't have to leave my apartment, I never would.
You'd know that I both long for and despise compliments.
You'd know I am afraid that someone I know IRL (in real life) will read this blog.
You'd know that if you do read this blog and you know me IRL, you will never mention it.
You'd know that I think some people who claim to be writers, produce the most mind-numbingly boring prose.
You'd know that I think my stepmother doesn't love or even like me.
You'd know that I secretly want to be locked up in a looney bin so I can shut out the real world.
You'd know that I'm ashamed of my country because we have so many riches and share so few of them. There is no reason for people to go homeless or hungry.
You'd know that I hide behind humor when I am most distraught.
You'd know that I feel old and used up.
You'd know that I want to lose 60 pounds but I can't stop eating. Purging doesn't help.
You'd know that I am just a few drinks and moments of insanity away from being an alcoholic.
You'd know that I don't think highly of myself but at the same time I KNOW I'm smart and have a lot to give.
You'd know that writing this list is making me sad.
You'd know that I always feel judged and at the same time, I'm VERY judgmental.
You'd know that I want to "quit my life" and run away...i.e. disappear.
You'd know that I am not writing this for shock value or to "get attention".
You'd know that I mean every word of what I just wrote.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Spring Tag (I know...but got sucked in!)

Spring Tag Questions

1. Favorite Spring nail polish? Lavenders, light blues, pinks, clear with a bit of purple. (OPI has great colors but since I can't afford them, I get knock offs)
2. What is your must-have lip color this Spring? something light and sparkly
3. Show us your favorite Spring dress, outfit or piece of clothing! Pajamas
4. What's your favorite flower? Sunflower
5. Favorite Spring scarf/accessory? none
6. What Spring trend(s) are you most excited about this year? (Makeup, fashion or both!) I don't follow trends. If it's not purple, I'm usually not interested.
7. Favorite Spring candle? Gardenia or jasmine
8. Favorite body spray/perfume for Spring? none too many allergies
9. What is Spring like where you live? Warmish but this year we broke the sky so it's now cold. OUr Winter was like summer. Go figure.
10. What's your favorite thing about Spring? Sunny days.
11. Are you a Spring cleaner? Yes but I'm an always cleaner. Hate dirt.
12. Favorite Spring food/candy? strawberries, blackberries, and raspberries
13. What is your least favorite thing about Spring? Pollen and bugs
14. Any plans for Spring break or an upcoming vacation? Not for Spring, but summer holds plans to visit family and friends in Boston and then Argentina on choir tour!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Youtube brings out the worst in people

Why do people on YouTube feel the need to attack others? I don't get it. For the YouTubers themselves, get a grip. If you are putting your life out there, then expect some discussion. I'm not saying you should accept attacks, but make use of your delete/block function if you find something offensive. And by offensive, I don't mean not your opinion. For the commenters, make sure you read the WHOLE FUCKING COMMENT before you tell me what you think I said. FUCK YOU.

See? YouTube brings out the worst. I gotta stop watching this crap. It's making me a horrible person.

Stay happy!

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Commitment Phobes and Me warning foul language in this blog

So I seem to attract commitment phobes and people with a lack of ability to understand that a relationship is not just a few dates here and there when it's convenient. That's called dating and if that's what you are looking for, then be fucking clear about it.
Over the last 15-20 years I've "dated" and had relationships with the following kinds of people:

1. 8 years long but can't commit to marriage because "it's just a piece of paper". This was the ultimate demise of our relationship. After dating for 3 years and living together for 5, and no marriage in sight, I left. This was not without warning, nor offers to go to counseling (which were patently refused because "I don't need a counselor to tell me I need to get married when I obviously don't want to". Fast forward 15 years and this asshat is married with a child. He never wanted to kids which was the ONE thing we agreed on. Fucking asshole. And who the FUCK includes that info in their first contact after umpteen years when you find someone on Linked In. What a fucker.

2. Dated a guy for approximately a year and a half. He was always "busy" and scheduling time together was like pulling out a calendar and saying "hey, how's the next year looking for you?". He was married one year after we broke up. Cheat much?

3. Dated a guy for 3 months. Things are going well. He's taking it slow, but whatever, I'm fine with that. He invites me to go to LA for Thanksgiving but I can't go because I have a performance that weekend and would not make it back in time. So off he goes alone and comes back early to break up with me. WHAT? He quotes some cheesy poem about love being like a spark that catches fire. He says there's no spark. So I leave and he texts me to to say he didn't mean to break up with me. Well, I meant to break up with him. SO bite me.

All 3 of these asshats moved on to marry and/or have serious relationships. The common denominator is me, so perhaps I should be calling MYSELF the asshat. I don't know, but I'm NEVER dating anyone EVER again. FUCK MEN. If I could turn myself into a lesbian, I would.

In addition to these fuck-ups, though I went on a few dates with someone I'm fairly sure was married and or a woman, and also went on dates with many people who were clearly not who they said they were in their online profile. By the way, avoid online dating at all costs. Of course, most of my friends met their mates online so maybe it's just me.

I hate people. But not you.