I feel guilty for writing this. I have a deep seated fear someone will find this blog entry and think it's about them. It's not. Not really. Having people stay with me is difficult. Not because they're here, but because they have stuff. Lots of stuff. And I have nowhere for them to put it. So my world gets turned upside down because try as they might to consolidate their belongings, they are still in my line of sight. There's nothing to be done about it. It's not their fault and it's not mine. It's the fact that I have a small dwelling not really suited for overnight guests--especially not for more than one night.
I have a need--a compulsion to clean every day. I need that routine of keeping things in order. It's hard to do when another person is in my space. They make messes (and I don't mean on purpose) but it seems there's double the dirt when it's more than just me here. I get the heebie jeebies when I have to share a bathroom. Yes, I'm crazy. I know the guests are clean but somehow I feel as though I need to bleach out the bathroom every time someone else uses it. Like they have cooties or something. I know--I'm ridiculous and weird.
Once my guest leaves, I immediately start my cleaning frenzy--everything and everywhere must be cleaned up and straightened out. Even if it wasn't used or is already cleaned. I hate that I am this way, but I just am. I guess it's ok because I never tell my guests they turn my world upside down. I enjoy having them here and feel honored when they actually want to stay with me despite my small living quarters. So I'm conflicted.
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