And I don't know if that's a bad thing. I need a break from this crazy life. I need time to breathe and take in the sights, smells, sounds, and textures. And oh yeah...tastes...preferably of umbrella drinks on a beach. But I digress. I don't know how I got here in the fast lane that keeps getting faster. I need to learn the fine art of saying "no". I need to learn the art of taking a vacation and not feeling guilty or worrying that I'll miss something while I'm gone. It will all be here when I get back. It always is.
Goal: plan a vacation to New Orleans and go no matter what.
Ok, going to Seattle instead but hey, I'm being financially responsible. Sort of. :)
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Questions Nobody Asks (but sometimes they do!)
1. Do you go by a nickname? Yes, many. AV, Amethyst, Ms. Purple, and more.
2. When driving, do you listen to CD’s, tapes, the radio or nothing? NPR or other talk radio. Sometimes a CD (yes, my car is old school but it's paid off!)
3. Are you a window person or an aisle person? If traveling alone, aisle. If with someone I know, window.
4. How do you relieve stress? Exercise, having a drink, cleaning.
5. What’s your favorite childhood TV show? Very young: Sesame St, Elementary school: Brady Bunch
6.When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Babysitter, teacher, hairdresser.
7.What was the best prank you ever pulled off? Never have.
8.If you could have dinner with any three people, whom would you choose? Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, and Ira Glass. Also Anderson Cooper. Ok, that's four, but I don't follow directions well.
9.If you could get back any article of clothing you once wore, what would it be? My recital dress.
10.If you could hire any actor to portray you in a movie, who would you chose? Meryl Streep, Maggie Smith, Helen Mirren, or anyone with a quick wit and a sense of humor.
11.If you could play any instrument, which would you play? Piano (better than I do), Violin (interestingly, I've had lessons in both and still suck!)
12.If you could hear anyone in history give a speech, whom would you hear? Martin Luther King, Fred Rogers
13.If you could live in one city for the rest of your life, where would you live? Florence, Italy.
14.If you could make any fictional character come to life, which would it be? Castle
15. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Witch, Ghost, Gypsy.
16. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed
17.If you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? Homer Simpson
18. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? No, they're yucky.
19. Have you stolen a street sign before? No.
20. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? In
21. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bear
22. Do you always smile for pictures? If forced to, yes.
23. Have you peed in the woods? Yes.
24. What size is your bed? Queen
25.What was the best concert you ever attended? Hard to say, but probably something at Tanglewood--Itzhak Perlman, Jessie Norman, Frederica von Stade, and Kinsey Sicks in SF were among the very best. Also Divo.
26. What is your song of the week? All of Me.
27. Do you still watch cartoons? No.
28. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? When I sent my ESD a birthday card.
29. How many languages can you speak? One fluently, one poorly (used to be fluent but lost it), one horrendously.
30. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.
31. What was your first concert? Corey Hart
32. Cheetos or Fritos? Cheetos.
33. Can you curl your tongue? Yes
34. Ever won a spelling bee? Never been in one.
35. Own a record player? Not anymore.
36. Who would you like to see in concert? Andrea Bocceli, Renee Flemming, Jimmy Buffett
37. Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles? Snickerdoodles
38. Can you swim well? Yes
39. Are you patient? Not always.
40. DJ or band at a wedding? Band.
41. Ever won a contest? Yes.
42. Do you have kids? No
43. Do you want kids? No
2. When driving, do you listen to CD’s, tapes, the radio or nothing? NPR or other talk radio. Sometimes a CD (yes, my car is old school but it's paid off!)
3. Are you a window person or an aisle person? If traveling alone, aisle. If with someone I know, window.
4. How do you relieve stress? Exercise, having a drink, cleaning.
5. What’s your favorite childhood TV show? Very young: Sesame St, Elementary school: Brady Bunch
6.When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Babysitter, teacher, hairdresser.
7.What was the best prank you ever pulled off? Never have.
8.If you could have dinner with any three people, whom would you choose? Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, and Ira Glass. Also Anderson Cooper. Ok, that's four, but I don't follow directions well.
9.If you could get back any article of clothing you once wore, what would it be? My recital dress.
10.If you could hire any actor to portray you in a movie, who would you chose? Meryl Streep, Maggie Smith, Helen Mirren, or anyone with a quick wit and a sense of humor.
11.If you could play any instrument, which would you play? Piano (better than I do), Violin (interestingly, I've had lessons in both and still suck!)
12.If you could hear anyone in history give a speech, whom would you hear? Martin Luther King, Fred Rogers
13.If you could live in one city for the rest of your life, where would you live? Florence, Italy.
14.If you could make any fictional character come to life, which would it be? Castle
15. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Witch, Ghost, Gypsy.
16. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed
17.If you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? Homer Simpson
18. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? No, they're yucky.
19. Have you stolen a street sign before? No.
20. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? In
21. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bear
22. Do you always smile for pictures? If forced to, yes.
23. Have you peed in the woods? Yes.
24. What size is your bed? Queen
25.What was the best concert you ever attended? Hard to say, but probably something at Tanglewood--Itzhak Perlman, Jessie Norman, Frederica von Stade, and Kinsey Sicks in SF were among the very best. Also Divo.
26. What is your song of the week? All of Me.
27. Do you still watch cartoons? No.
28. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? When I sent my ESD a birthday card.
29. How many languages can you speak? One fluently, one poorly (used to be fluent but lost it), one horrendously.
30. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.
31. What was your first concert? Corey Hart
32. Cheetos or Fritos? Cheetos.
33. Can you curl your tongue? Yes
34. Ever won a spelling bee? Never been in one.
35. Own a record player? Not anymore.
36. Who would you like to see in concert? Andrea Bocceli, Renee Flemming, Jimmy Buffett
37. Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles? Snickerdoodles
38. Can you swim well? Yes
39. Are you patient? Not always.
40. DJ or band at a wedding? Band.
41. Ever won a contest? Yes.
42. Do you have kids? No
43. Do you want kids? No
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Things I am tired of hearing
I'm tired of hearing the following things: ( in no particular order)
1. Carbs are bad for you.
2. Fake sugar (Equal, Splenda, etc) is bad for you.
3. Diet soda makes you fat.
4. Gluten is bad for you.
5. Fruit has too much sugar and carbs and will therefore make you fat. (FRUIT?)
6. Always buy organic fruits and veggies--even juice.
7. Anything about this election.
8. Anything about local politics
9. Opting out of testing
10. Freakouts about not being able to vote--voter fraud--unregistering people.
11. My neighbor practicing the piano.
12. Being fat.
13. Fake ass people.
14. Youtube
15. Drama
16. People calling me every day.
17. Being poor.
1. Carbs are bad for you.
2. Fake sugar (Equal, Splenda, etc) is bad for you.
3. Diet soda makes you fat.
4. Gluten is bad for you.
5. Fruit has too much sugar and carbs and will therefore make you fat. (FRUIT?)
6. Always buy organic fruits and veggies--even juice.
7. Anything about this election.
8. Anything about local politics
9. Opting out of testing
10. Freakouts about not being able to vote--voter fraud--unregistering people.
11. My neighbor practicing the piano.
12. Being fat.
13. Fake ass people.
14. Youtube
15. Drama
16. People calling me every day.
17. Being poor.
Saturday, April 9, 2016
The Silent treatment
Lately, I've been receiving the silent treatment from some people in my life. I've done some research about it and was surprised to find that it qualifies as emotional abuse! When I thought more deeply about it, I realized, indeed it does! I refuse to tolerate such abuse and I'm walking away from those who feel the need to give it to me. I'm worth more than this and I thought our friendships were too. If you care about someone, you talk things through and if in the end, things don't work out, you can at least part ways amicably. The Silent Treatment is, in my opinion, a cowardly way out. It's avoiding someone so you don't have to face the fact that perhaps there is a problem or you've hit a rough patch. Why not just say "we can't be friends anymore"?
I'm not a stranger to holding grudges. For years, I've held grudges and the only person it ever hurt was me. I was the one feeling bad, angry, resentful, upset. I was the one with rising anxiety and indigestion that wouldn't dissolve with the many TUMS I threw at it. I finally (after more years than I will admit), realized that only I can control how I react to people. While I cannot control what other people say, do, feel, I CAN control those things for myself. And I do NOT have to tolerate abuse.
On top of that, life is short. Years of grudges and not speaking because of some misunderstanding or fall-out, pales in comparison to when you find out the person has a fatal disease. Life is short. Be kind. Don't hold grudges. Nobody's perfect and yes, we all make mistakes. Sometimes friendships die but grudges are never helpful.
That is all I have to say on the subject for now. And no, I'm not perfect nor do I profess to be able to practice all the things I've preached here. Ahem.
I'm not a stranger to holding grudges. For years, I've held grudges and the only person it ever hurt was me. I was the one feeling bad, angry, resentful, upset. I was the one with rising anxiety and indigestion that wouldn't dissolve with the many TUMS I threw at it. I finally (after more years than I will admit), realized that only I can control how I react to people. While I cannot control what other people say, do, feel, I CAN control those things for myself. And I do NOT have to tolerate abuse.
On top of that, life is short. Years of grudges and not speaking because of some misunderstanding or fall-out, pales in comparison to when you find out the person has a fatal disease. Life is short. Be kind. Don't hold grudges. Nobody's perfect and yes, we all make mistakes. Sometimes friendships die but grudges are never helpful.
That is all I have to say on the subject for now. And no, I'm not perfect nor do I profess to be able to practice all the things I've preached here. Ahem.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
You're So Vain... (borrowed from Carole King)
For all of you people who think my life revolves around you and that ALL of my facebook posts are indeed about YOU, the people YOU know, YOUR associations, families, groups, etc, GET A LIFE. I have a life that is very large and it involves many aspects outside of from where you may know me. So, please, for the love of everything purple, do not assume that what I'm writing in a simple FB status has ANYTHING to do with you. It doesn't. In fact, 99% of the time it doesn't and the 1% of the time it does, I SAY IT. I am sick and tired of defending, disclaiming, excusing, and apologizing for what I say on MY FB page. If you don't like it, can't understand it, can't bring yourself to believe it's not about YOU, then unfollow, unfriend, and DISENTANGLE yourself from my life. GET THE EFF OUT. I did the very same thing and most of you never noticed. I don't read your posts, I don't comment, and I don't follow. I don't have time or energy to devote to that. I have 3 jobs, a lot of friends, and a million and one things to do. So, no, I don't care that you think my post *could* be interpreted this way or that. I don't care and you shouldn't either. If I stopped to think about how everyone's posts *could* apply to ME, I'd go crazy. I guess you've all done that already. Be my guest because I'm no stranger to crazy. I take meds for it. Yes, you read correctly. Now move on with the shattered pieces of your broken lives and go read someone else's FB page. Mine's closed.
Monday, March 14, 2016
Inspired by Sarah Rush--things I've learned in my thirty-sixteen years
Thirty-sixteen years on this planet and I've learned a lot... I will try to come up with thirty-sixteen of them (that's 46 if you don't know me and the fact that I still wish and refuse to believe I'm not still in my 30's)
1. You can't please everyone.
2. Be yourself no matter what.
3. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
4. Trust is hard to earn and even harder to earn back.
5. The truth sometimes hurts but it's always the best policy.
6. People are not always who they seem to be.
7. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.
8. NOBODY is perfect no matter what you think.
9. The grass is often greener on the other side.
10. Do what you love and love what you do.
11. No job (relationship, friendship) is worth sacrificing your sanity.
12. Never ever stay in an abusive relationship.
13. Don't stay together "for the kids". Get divorced.
14. Manners matter
15. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
16. You do not owe anyone an explanation for the way you feel.
17. No means no.
18. You don't have to explain why your answer is no.
19. Try not to go to sleep angry.
20. Agree to disagree.
21. Fight fair.
22. You can be happy or you can be right.
23. Sometimes it IS your fault.
24. Always being the victim is unattractive.
25. Smiles are contagious.
26. If you're a teacher, your students will teach you more than you can ever teach them. Pay attention.
27. I've learned that forgiving doesn't always mean forgetting.
28. The small things don't matter in the end.
29. Cancer sucks.
30. Hold your loved ones tight because you never know when they'll be gone.
31. Music heals.
32. Singing in a choir means being part of something bigger than yourself and having the ability to create something you could never create alone.
33. Be able to say you're sorry.
34. Crying doesn't mean you're weak.
35. Therapy can help but sometimes it hurts. Knowing the difference can save your life.
36. Building each other up is always better than tearing someone down.
37. Secrets are poison.
38. Sometimes it's ok to put yourself first.
39. It's not about being the best, it's about doing your best.
40. If you have a roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and money in your pocket, you are doing better than most of the world.
41. Be grateful.
42. Respect is earned not just given.
43. Being grateful is difficult sometimes.
44. We're all human.
45. Donald Trump is dangerous and scary.
46. This list was difficult to make!
1. You can't please everyone.
2. Be yourself no matter what.
3. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
4. Trust is hard to earn and even harder to earn back.
5. The truth sometimes hurts but it's always the best policy.
6. People are not always who they seem to be.
7. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.
8. NOBODY is perfect no matter what you think.
9. The grass is often greener on the other side.
10. Do what you love and love what you do.
11. No job (relationship, friendship) is worth sacrificing your sanity.
12. Never ever stay in an abusive relationship.
13. Don't stay together "for the kids". Get divorced.
14. Manners matter
15. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
16. You do not owe anyone an explanation for the way you feel.
17. No means no.
18. You don't have to explain why your answer is no.
19. Try not to go to sleep angry.
20. Agree to disagree.
21. Fight fair.
22. You can be happy or you can be right.
23. Sometimes it IS your fault.
24. Always being the victim is unattractive.
25. Smiles are contagious.
26. If you're a teacher, your students will teach you more than you can ever teach them. Pay attention.
27. I've learned that forgiving doesn't always mean forgetting.
28. The small things don't matter in the end.
29. Cancer sucks.
30. Hold your loved ones tight because you never know when they'll be gone.
31. Music heals.
32. Singing in a choir means being part of something bigger than yourself and having the ability to create something you could never create alone.
33. Be able to say you're sorry.
34. Crying doesn't mean you're weak.
35. Therapy can help but sometimes it hurts. Knowing the difference can save your life.
36. Building each other up is always better than tearing someone down.
37. Secrets are poison.
38. Sometimes it's ok to put yourself first.
39. It's not about being the best, it's about doing your best.
40. If you have a roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and money in your pocket, you are doing better than most of the world.
41. Be grateful.
42. Respect is earned not just given.
43. Being grateful is difficult sometimes.
44. We're all human.
45. Donald Trump is dangerous and scary.
46. This list was difficult to make!
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Secrets and lies of omission
Secrets are poison. Lies whether of omission or blatant and baldfaced, create disharmony. They're bound to come out one way or another. Someone will mistakenly give the secret information out or it will just find its way through the tangled web until its ugly head is reared. Either way, secrets and lies are toxic to a relationship, a workplace, or even between two people.
I recently became aware of some information quite by accident. An innocent person asked me a question about something and after realizing I had no idea what he was talking about, I found something I was obviously not supposed to know. I wrote it off and as I did not want to "out" this person for mentioning something he did not know was taboo, I figured it would blow over and I'd forget. It wasn't real because I didn't know when it was going to happen.
Fast forward a week or two and I'm unwittingly cc'd on an email regarding this same piece of information and now it's real. Reading down the thread, I see what's happening and I'm SURE I was never supposed to know. It was a lie of omission. Something that was never supposed to be said and never supposed to be found out. Well, now I know and now it has been said. What to do?
I go through the cycle of anger, fury, depression, sadness, and get "stuck" wondering if I should simply call it out and clear the air. No, I don't want to make matters worse than they are. But... it WILL come out and it WILL be evident that I know, by no fault of my own. Will I get an explanation? An apology? Do I care? Probably not and I don't know.
Moral of this crazy story: don't lie on purpose or by omission. It's poisonous and will forever change someone's perception of you.
I recently became aware of some information quite by accident. An innocent person asked me a question about something and after realizing I had no idea what he was talking about, I found something I was obviously not supposed to know. I wrote it off and as I did not want to "out" this person for mentioning something he did not know was taboo, I figured it would blow over and I'd forget. It wasn't real because I didn't know when it was going to happen.
Fast forward a week or two and I'm unwittingly cc'd on an email regarding this same piece of information and now it's real. Reading down the thread, I see what's happening and I'm SURE I was never supposed to know. It was a lie of omission. Something that was never supposed to be said and never supposed to be found out. Well, now I know and now it has been said. What to do?
I go through the cycle of anger, fury, depression, sadness, and get "stuck" wondering if I should simply call it out and clear the air. No, I don't want to make matters worse than they are. But... it WILL come out and it WILL be evident that I know, by no fault of my own. Will I get an explanation? An apology? Do I care? Probably not and I don't know.
Moral of this crazy story: don't lie on purpose or by omission. It's poisonous and will forever change someone's perception of you.
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