An Early Holiday Letter

What a year it’s been! 2016 sure had some interesting twists and turns. I’ll just leave it at that.

As always, I look back on the year and wonder how it flew by so quickly and reflect on everything that happened—the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’ve learned more, sung more, and enjoyed more. In between the joy came sadness and the realization that life is short. Hold your loved ones tight, tell them you love them, and never ever take a day for granted. Learn from your mistakes and admit wrong doings. Don’t try to be perfect—trust me, it doesn’t work! J But do try your best. Always try. That’s what counts.

Besides reflecting, I’ve enjoyed my job as Program Director for Music in the Schools, Music teacher at a preschool, and of course, teaching my beloved Special People. When I’m not teaching, I’m singing with the Peninsula Women’s Chorus, taking voice lessons, and trying to spend time with friends. I even managed a short trip to Seattle, which was the first vacation I’ve taken in probably 20 years, that wasn’t to see family or sing with my chorus. It was refreshing and made me realize once more, that I need to do more of that. Tomorrow may not come, there’s never a guarantee, and soon, your life passes you by and you stand there wondering why you never checked off the things on your bucket list. Do it now. Don’t wait.

I still long to live outside the US for an extended period of time and am currently researching and weighing my options. I could further my education or further the education of others. Or both. It remains to be seen. There has to be more than what’s right here at home.

Being on Facebook gives me some weird sense of thinking I know what’s going on in everyone’s lives and that they know mine. It makes writing this letter difficult since I feel like I “see” you all every day. But I don’t and even though many of you are far away, please know you are always in my thoughts.

My wish for all of you is a healthy, happy holiday season with an even better 2017. Thank you all for being in my life and allowing me to be in yours.

Welcome to the New World

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

-Martin Niemöller

And my friends, they WILL come for all of us. If you don't believe me, just wait. You're not as safe as you think. Don't tell me to get over it, move on, accept it, stay and fight, and don't tell me how to feel. The world changed overnight and it will never be the same. Stand up to racism, sexism, bigotry, xenophobia, homophobia, and everything that's wrong. Don't stand idly by and waiting to see how it all plays out. We know how it plays out. And it's terrifying.

I am ashamed that I know people who voted for this monster who will soon take the position of President of the (un)United States. If they voted for him, they support his every action. And that's unacceptable to me. The fact that ANYONE supports this dictator and his cronies, is unfathomable to me. I hope to escape while I still can.

#NeverAgain #Butitishappeningagain

Thoughts of Richard Cory

Lonely yet not alone I stand,

Watching rain fall on the parch-ed land.

My mind wanders far away

To a place I cannot stay.

I wonder how this came to be.

I wonder how I lost the core of me.

I wander and I roam,

Where is to be my next home?

I don’t know where to go

Where the sadness will not flow.

I have no more hope,

For I have reached the shreds of that tight rope.

True Colors

It seems that the last year and especially the last few days have shown people's true colors--mine included. I am saddened, angered, and disappointed at how so many people think it's ok to hate now. It's ok to throw around racial slurs. It's ok to treat women like property. It's ok to harass people who are not white, christian, and straight. And it's ok to insult everyone who isn't like you. Well, in my book, it's NOT OK. I am ashamed and embarrassed for our country. We are divided like never before. The people who think like I do are mourning and terrified. The people who think otherwise, are throwing insults and telling me to "grow up", "get over it", "move on", "if you don't like it, get out" and a whole host of other things. People I thought were my friends are no longer. I don't think this can be repaired. 

I'm afraid on social media. I walk outside with my head down and eyes up. I'm acutely aware of my surroundings. I look over my shoulder more often than not. I'm frightened for my friends who have even more to lose than I do. I crumble into a puddle of terrified tears. And nobody seems to care.

I want to go home but I don't even know where home is anymore.

My world is rocked

And not in a good way. I'm completely turned upside down and inside out. Nothing is the way it "should" be and I'm feeling less control than ever. 

Random pieces of unsolicited advice and reflection:

1. Tell people you love them. Tell the now. Later might be too late.

2. Expect the unexpected and prepare for it so you aren't left in a puddle of anxiety when something happens.

3. Be honest. Communicate even if you know it isn't what the other person wants to hear.

4. Be kind to everyone.

5. Be on time.

6. Show up and be present.

7. Believe in yourself.

8. Dare to dream.

Dreams

Langston Hughes, 1902 - 1967

Hold fast to dreams 
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Noise, chaos, Type A meltdown

I'm trying to be organized. I'm trying to stay on top of things so I don't get overwhelmed. Outside, there's a leaf blower and gardeners making enough noise to drive my already rattled brain crazy. (No, I'm not living in a mansion with hired help--it's the apartment complex) And for the record, I HATE leaf blowers. Disgusting, smelly, polluting mess of an invention.

So yeah, I'm trying to get my work done and it's not happening because there is chaos. And as a result, I feel there is chaos all around me--unfinished work, unfinished cleaning, disorganized piles of paper....and AAAAAHHHHHH!!! 

I made a checklist to see what I've already done that I may not have given myself credit for. There's one thing. Ok then. I am trying very hard not to melt down in my Type A way when things just aren't as I wish they were. It may or may not be working. Is it 5:00 yet?

That's all I can muster today. What are your tips and tricks for getting through these chaotic times?
Are you Type A too?